Published: 332 days ago
The silent voice of injustice…a small window into Violence Against Women
By: Farheen Khan, March 22, 2011
As I stand in line at the near by Tim Hortons for my morning coffee, I see the faces of many women in the lines and behind the counter…Watching one woman in particular among the crowd of faces at the counter as she prepares a new pot of coffee, while staring out into the distance. I see the puffiness on the right side of her cheek almost gone, which was until last week bruised from her husband’s fist mark.
The woman that standing in line in front of me now, holding 3 cups of coffee while her husband stands there watching, as the folder with some bills fall out from under her arm and the first words that come out of his mouth are “are you dumb – pick those up now”. Then as she struggles to put the coffees back on the counter he says “yes she’s crazy – now everyone knows it” and she concurs after having internalized it over the years.
At the Bank – as I stand in line listening to the older women who sees the young woman teller coming down from her seat to assist an elderly gentlemen with the bank machine, and says to the man standing in line behind her – “see that – she’s wearing tights with her dress shirt, there’s no place for that here” and “if something happens to her, she’s asking for it, don’t you agree?” and the man concurs.
Such small moments, but so telling of the situations that we deal with each and every day…
The teenager that blasts the music in her room to drown out the sounds of her father shouting at her mother, a tradition in the house that is all too familiar and the fear she faces whenever she gets close to considering any man into her own life. The fear being that of living her mothers’ life, with the hope of changing a man that disrespects her each and every moment, drilling into her how useless and incompetent she is.
The man sitting at the next table over to me, ridiculing his wife in front of his peers because she had another craving during her pregnancy and he told her to shut up and go to bed…
The walk down the street the other night with some friends, while 3 elder men stand on the side of the street staring us up and down, hence increasing the pace at which we walk back to our cars…
So many moments; its moments like these that make us wonder when the injustice will end. I was recently asked on a blog radio Show American Muslim 360 if Violence Against Women is a mental illness, and my answer to him was no – it’s about power and control.
The truth is women are fundamentally disrespected in so many ways and violence against women continues to prevail in a patriarchal society of which you and I are all a part of.
The question is how do we shift the way in which women are being treated? How do we respond to this ever growing need of eradicating violence against women. How do we empower our women to speak out and speak up, in ways that allow us to support them and alleviate barriers that make it more difficult for them to get out.
Statistics show that 2 out of 3 women experience sexual violence in Canada. 1 out of 7 women experience Domestic Violence and/or spousal Abuse.
These are our sisters, mothers, grand mothers, daughters, aunts and more…. What are you doing to make a difference?
Let’s not be silent about this anymore! We each have a voice, we each have a story to tell, share it…speak out…
Farheen Khan, March 2011
www.farheenkhan.ca
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