Child Abuse: Precautions & Preventions
By Amna Dadabhoy, Toronto
All children have the right to be safe. Safe in a way that
we not only respect their feelings but also protect them from
exploitation . Recently the news about an Austrian father
sexually abusing her daughter left us astounded. This news
was shocking but it is not surprising to know that majority
of the children who are sexually abused are by their own closest
relatives.
Why are we so hesitant to talk about it? Good thing is that
was the 19th century, at this time we are fortunate to educate
our children and talk about things that our parents never
talked about.
Why is it important? It will give them the confidence to
look at the world through our eyes.
HERE ARE SOME FACTS WE IGNORE:
- We teach our kids that strangers are the boogie man and
stay away from them so they start to associate a stranger
who is scary and mean . Individuals who are interested in
victimizing children usually present themselves friendly
and appealing to kids
- Most victims of child sexual abuse know the offender
in some capacity.
- 11-17 year old children are the highest risk of sexual
abuse.
- Most offenders groom children and built relationship
with them in order to increase compliance.
- Sexual abuse can become very confusing to a child-they
do not always know the behavior has become abusive.
- Adolescents are least likely to tell if they have been
sexually abused.
- Many individuals who sexually offend children are married
or have some relationship with an adult.
- Fear tactics are ineffective in teaching a child personal
safety lesson, as fear can interfere with memory.
DID YOU KNOW:
While child protection is an obvious concern to most parents,
there are many reasons
for why people fail to act. Some commonly held misconceptions
include:
Negative attitudes: “It really isn’t
a big problem in our society”. 61% of victims of child
sexual offences reported to police are children under 18 years
of age [Statistics Canada, 2005]. This number does not account
for the 70% of child abuse victims who do not disclose their
abuse during childhood [Robins, 2000].
Indifference: “It’s not my
problem – let someone else handle it.”
Fear of retaliation: “They know our
family and where we live – what if they do something
to us?”
Denial: “He wouldn’t do something
like that – he’s a really nice guy.”
It can be hard to believe that someone in a child-serving
organization could sexually abuse a child. Abusers are often
friendly, helpful, outgoing, and very likeable individuals.
Not believing the child victim: “That
child is always up to something — she lies all the time.”
It is common for child victims of abuse to not be believed.
Parents should always take disclosure or suspicion of child
sexual abuse seriously.
EXAMPLES OF RISKS- FAMILY:
- Lack of parental supervision
- Change schools during school year/move around a lot (lack
connection to community)
- Chaotic home environment
- Sibling with severe behavioural problems
(criminal activity, violent, verbally abusive, etc.)
- Lack of family boundaries (physical, emotional,
and family roles - see boundary sheet)
- Lack of emotional connection between child
and parent
- Lack of positive parental involvement with child
- High levels of conflict between parents
- High level exposure to sexually explicit material
PREVENTION CONSIDERATIONS:
- Babysitters have gone through child abuse
registry checks and several reference checks
- Stay engaged in your child’s relationships
with adults, peers, older and younger children
- Do not leave your child alone with intoxicated
adults or teenagers
- Get to know your child’s friends and the
friend’s parents before allowing him/her to
sleep over at that friend’s house
- Explain the difference between okay and not
okay touching
- Accompany your child to community job opportunities (raking
lawn, cutting lawns, shovelling, babysitting) to verify
the safety of the job.
- Teach your child to always ask permission from
you before going anywhere with anyone
- Teach your child to always use the buddy system
when going to and from places
- Create and practice “What if” scenarios with
your child regarding potentially dangerous
situations so your child can consider his/her
FACTS WE MUST KNOW:
Child sex abuse is a serious problem in our society and it
is an adult's responsibility to understand and recognize the
child distress behavoir. It could start from your very own
computer. Cybertip.ca processes over 600 reports per month
relating to the sexual exploitation of children on the Internet
and receives over 800,000 website hits per month from people
seeking educational information.
In homes without rules about Internet use, 74% of children
report that an adult is never present when they use the Internet.
21% of children report having met someone in person they met
first online.
WHAT WE ALL COULD DO TO HELP:
- Prevent child sexual abuse through increased awareness
and education
- Teach employees/volunteers difference between appropriate
and inappropriate behaviour
- Provide specific strategies on how to prevent abuse
- Design programs that focus on child safety and supervision
- Establish clear boundaries between adults and children
- Ensure that allegations of child sexual abuse are handled
in a sensitive, timely and effective manner
- Understand their legal obligations to report child sexual
abuse
- Ensure the highest standard of practice when working with
children
As parents it is our job to make choices that are healthy
and beneficial for our children. It is important that children
know exactly who to turn to during times of distress and when
they want to share something that is important to them. Who
could be a better person than a parent. Let’s break
the boundaries and communicate with our kids.
It is important to educate ourselves and our children. There
are no guarantees that an organization can prevent all instances
of child abuse but we can at least teach our children to create
barriers against sex offenders. Remember it is mandatory to
report child pornography or child sex abuse.
May Allah helps us from the ignorance and teach us the truth
and righteousness. Ameen.
USEFUL WEBSITES:
www.protectchildren.ca
www.kidsintheknow.ca
www.cybertip.ca
www.commit2kids.ca
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